Chika Jonah Writes

Category: Lifestyle

  • 7 Things to Improve your Mental Health

    Things to improve your mental health are as easy to come by as things needed to improve your physical health.

    Once you notice any sign of weakness in your body, or any symptom of sickness, the first thing you do is, make a run for medications, prescriptions, exercise, anything to heal your body and make you healthy, but when it comes to your mental health, it becomes extremely difficult to take care of it.

    There are a lot of physically fit people with mental health issues on the streets.

    Why?

    Because, the same attention you’ve given to your body has not been given to your mind. Also, there are those who don’t even take care of both their body and mind as should.

    The fact remains that taking care of your mental health is not difficult. The things to improve your mental health are very easy to come by. All it takes is your determination and consistency, which becomes hard part.

    I’m not here to give a pep talk to a grown adult on the importance of mental health and why you should be consistently prioritizing it, because if you as an adult, (18+) do not know the importance of your mental health, then you are sleeping. (Tell that to some Nigerian Parents)

    It would baffle you to know that, some Nigerians still perceive a toll in mental health as madness. Shameful!

    If you’re reading this and you’re one of those Nigerians, then your thinking is far from the truth. Such perception is vague and misleading.

    Signs that Your Mental Health has Taken a Toll

    1. Anxiety

    2. Overthinking

    3. Toxicity

    4. Insomnia

    5. Lack of Gratitude

    6. No self worth and self love

    7. Depression

    8. Jumpiness and Anxiousness

    9. Bad eating habit

    10. Distancing yourself from others.

    Its easy to experience all of these things because life presents situations that make you anxious, pain that make you depressed, toxic people that try to rub their toxicity on you and fear that makes you jumpy. (Sarmlife shared something helpful on Anxiety you should see) The key is to listen to your body, and mind to know when these things get out of hand. And when they do, that’s when you know its time do things to improve your mental health.

    This is where the Mental health help guide come in. It’s important that you are aware of these 7 things to improve your mental health and apply it in your everyday life.

    7 Things to Improve Your Mental Health.

    Overcome Triggers

    Triggers are events, experiences or other stimulus that initiates a traumatic memory or action in a person. If you were abandoned as a child, any form of rejection can trigger that traumatic experience again. There by giving you reasons to respond to it. Avoiding triggers can do so little, but overcoming triggers lies the real gain. You can overcome triggers by;

    • Reminding yourself that its all in your head.
    • Reminding yourself that you can control it.
    • Not responding to its effect on you by not letting it overwhelm you.
    • Understanding that such traumatic event cannot affect your present. Affirming that Good things will come.

    Love Yourself

    We are all imperfect beings with flaws, weaknesses, and deficiencies, and you are one of those people. Perfect in imperfection. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Respect yourself enough to not look down on yourself. Spoil yourself. Tell yourself sweet things. A friend posted on his status yesterday saying, “I’m so happy because I first fell in love with myself.”

    Reading that alone brought tears to my eyes,  because there’s an undisputed amount of happiness that come with loving yourself and it is one of those things to improve your mental heath that I love so much. Self love is gold.

    Take care of your body

    Taking care of your physical body as one of the things to improve your mental health works like magic. Things like:

    •Exercising
    •Eating well
    •Avoiding alcohol and drugs
    •Drinking plenty of water
    •Sleeping and resting well
    •Engaging in hobbies
    •Having fun exercises

    Meditate

    Meditating connects your mind with your surrounding. It opens your mind to positive possibilities. It stretches your mind to see more than what has or is happenening around you. It calms your nerves and refreshes your soul. It organizes your thoughts. It takes away the feeling of fatigue and allows your mind to see more, to ponder upon situations in a collected way and to build positive growth reflections.

    Journal

    I call Journaling every ones best friend. Sometimes I hear people say “but how can I just be writing anything on a book.” That is the purpose journaling. To show you that there is something in your nothing. Journaling helps you make sense of the senseless. Putting them down on a journal, and writing all your feelings and thoughts helps you clear your head. Let me also add what I shared In my last post on Journaling, “Write on your journal regularly, your thoughts, actions, plans, ideas or just how you spend everyday. Go back and read it, you’d be amazed at the things that would begin to unravel.”

    Be around good people

    Good family and friends are one of the things to improve your mental health. Good people who share good values like you are such a rare blessing. If you know them, hold on to them. Surround yourself with them. They would be a source of encouragment, love, support, and care on those days when your mental health detoriates. Don’t push them away or deny them the right to love and comfort you.

    Seek Help

    This can be a difficult part for some people. Although, there are few others who would shamelessly ask for help. Please be among those few others. I get that you may not want to burden someone else with your issues, but dear, there are people who can handle it. A counselor, (Guardian angel offers free counselling ) a therapist, a specialist in the area, a mentor or someone you respect. Just seek help.

    I hope that you’d take these 7 things to improve your mental health guide seriously anytime you begin to feel down mentally. So, bookmark this post and share with your friends and loves ones.

    Happy Mental Health Week.

  • 10 Interesting Facts About Abuja

    There are interesting facts about Abuja that may or may not be interesting to you but are important we discuss about.

    Eagle square

    Having visited 21 states in the country and 15 more states left to achieve my travel goals of visiting the complete 36 states of the federation, I was excited about coming to Abuja, the federal capital territory of Nigeria for the first time.

    It has been one of my travel goals for 2021 and it’s beautiful how surprisingly, everything went smoothly. I packed my bags with my travel necessities ( if you know me, I don’t miss packing my travel must have’s for any trip) and began this journey.

    My exact thought was “its time to find out what is so special about this city that everyone has been making noise about.” And well, I didnt know I was in for a big surprise. laughs

    The interesting facts about Abuja I thought I knew from hearsays was not a fact at all. (E shock me)

    I was welcomed with clean air. Ah! Coming from portharcourt, clean air is a blessing since all we breathe in is polluted air. God help us! I mean my nostrils obeyed the calling of nature and opened its wide door to receive this breath of fresh air. It was absolutely soothing.

    I still dream about the Kunu aya (permit the spelling) I drank on my first day there. Fresh, rich, well packaged, completely natural and very affordable. A treat indeed! Also their street food which is; jellof beans and roasted yam with bole stew is a delight to enjoy. If you’re a lover of street food like me, just eat this food and you’d feel like staying in Abuja.

    I visited a lot of places like Wuse, Apo, Nyanya, Gwarimpa, Utako, Jahi, Katampe, Jabi, Jabi lake, and so on. I understand that my one week stay is not enough to judge a city that has existed for decades and their lifestyle. Yet, these interesting facts about Abuja, however good or bad is from a tourist point of view with a passion for traveling and a keen eye for details, so I do believe that you’d trust my judgment.

    These interesting facts about Abuja to be shared would stand as a guide, a watch word, if Abuja is a place you’d want to visit or live in the near future.

    Let’s get on to it.

    The Atrium Restaurant Utako

    10 Interesting Facts About Abuja

    1. Abuja is a well planned City. Abuja is not like Okirika where they just started any building that came to mind and called it a house. haha The city of Abuja began with a plan. An infastructural blueprint. No house was there by mistake. Not sure about the suburbs but Abuja Central was built with a plan hence the beauty, the gardens, the roadmap, the art.
    2. I love how the transporters, even the uneducated ones would speak English or pidgin first before they transition to Hausa in order to make communication easy for anyone. Throughout my stay I did nor have to shout at any driver or bike man that I wasn’t fluent with Hausa. This is a very good point for tourists. Not like Akwaibom that even when you tell them you don’t hear the language they would still rub it on your face.
    3. Transporters are probably the richest in Abuja. Ha! These guys are making money. One small place 200 naira. They would use their tongue to say “Its very far.” to lure you. But once you hop in, you’d realize it wasn’t far at all. Just get ready to spend all your money on transportation in this city.
    4. One of the many interesting facts about Abuja is that, this place is not for mad people. Even the drivers and keke pilots are civilized. Keep your craziness in Lagos, Warri and Portharcourt. Don’t bring it here or you’d be put to shame. Don’t shout. Don’t make noise. Don’t argue or fight oh. Don’t say I did not warn you.
    5. This city is boring. Everyone is minding their business. Sometimes a simple act at socializing can be misunderstood for something else. Although the city has a bubbling night life especially around Wuse area but If you don’t have cool friends and do not know your way around, then its going to be a dull & boring ride for you.
    6. Abuja is surprisingly Safe. hahahaha let me give you gist. When I was at “The Atrium Restaurant” at Utako for lunch and I needed to go get my friend, the waiter said “oh leave your bag.” I was like What? “Nooo.” He laughed out loud. “I understand but you can really leave your bag. Nothing would happen to it.” I was just shaking my head, it’s like this guy is high? (Make them move my phone and money.) How would I come back home if they stole my things? laughs Anyways, I did as he said and damn, my things were intact. I ended up leaving my stuffs behind every time I wanted to step out. Such freedom and security was beautiful to experience. Even when I was out late at night in Jabi, there was no street criminal out to threaten or rob you. Nobody got time for such rubbish in Abuja.
    1. Northerners have no knowledge about business at all. pouts An Igbo man with a small shop in Abuja would make more money from 7am to 10am in the morning while the average Northern man is still snoring. Kai! See me strolling to the market by few minutes to eight o’clock, only to find out that most shops were locked. (My friend warned me but I didn’t listen) But the Igbo man in the street I stay in, was open since 7am and had made over five thousand naira sales on provision that early morning. No wonder they strive everywhere. Well, I wish the northerners were a little business smart.
    2. Abuja is beautiful and homely. Abuja fine. Ah! Forget it. If you are a lover of nature then Abuja is blessed with it. If you’re a creative person then just carry your foam and live there. A lot of inspiration. A wide vast of creativity. A cool source of spirituality. And a flare of peace and tranquility. As long as you don’t get pressured by the wealthy.
    3. Abuja has a lot of enchanting places to visit. This is one of the many interesting facts about Abuja that is for tourists. From the many eye watering restaurants to the bristos, gallery, museums, garden, hotels, lounge, lake and more. TripAdvisor curated best places to visit in Abuja that may interest you. I also believe that, there are more places that you’d have to discover on your own as it is a large State.
    4. Abuja is an expensive place to live. This city’s lifestyle is not for a manager. laughs Till now I’m still calculating how my money finished. shocked To enjoy the goodness and graciousness of this city, you’d have to live comfortably and you can’t achieve that without a sustainable cash flow. In fact, no young person should think of living alone without a steady reasonable source of income monthly. Particularly I enjoyed staying in Jahi as it is easily accessible to anywhere in Abuja. The reason I could visit so many places in a short time was because I was staying at Jahi. And fortunately, Jahi is one of the less expensive part of Abuja Central for housing and accommodation. A self contain apartment goes for three hundred to five hundred thousand a year. An average price for accommodation at Maitama, Wuse, Garki, etc. (Check this article to read more on places to live in Abuja) If you’re visiting, cool. If you’re thinking of relocating like me, please fill your pockets. (Please ask for my account details) haha
    Jabi Lake

    Debunking some Myths About Abuja

    Having seen the interesting facts about Abuja, you’ve probably also heard of some things about Abuja that you believed were true but really isn’t in reality. Now is the time to debunk those myths.

    1. There are bikes in Abuja. In fact, a lot of bikes.
    2. Keke is a boss in Abuja. Don’t be deceived. Keke runs in the main towns in Abuja as well. Except for a few specific highways.
    3. There is also traffic in Abuja. Not as intense as other states like Lagos. But if you think there is no traffic in Abuja then you better repeat the first sentence till it sinks in.
    4. The road is smooth.
    5. Even the suburbs is clean
    6. Only perishable foodstuffs are cheap. Other food items and basic items are very expensive.
    7. There are poor people in Abuja as well. Poor people are everywhere sadly.
    8. Everyone is not fake in Abuja. There are no fake people. When did people who live comfortable and luxurious life become fake people?

    My question is why aren’t you traveling? Money? I have a guide on “traveling on a budget in Nigeria” you should see. Time? – you can always create time with proper planning. Stress? Traveling has been made easy with some mode of transport.

    Traveling is therapeutic. It refreshes your mind and eases your soul. It reminds you of the beauty of life and makes you see the life of others through gratitude. It exposes you to different culture and lifestyle. Brings you closer to nature and people.

    If Abuja is one of those places you plan on visiting or residing in, I hope this article has helped you establish some ground truths beneficial for your travel.

    All the best.

    Please leave me a comment.
    Also use the share button to share this post with your friends as well. Thank you.

  • 4 Killers of Communication in professional & personal relationships

    Killers of communication are like termites that ruin communication most times before it even starts. We are in the last days of the month and truthfully, a lot of things went down for me personally in this month and lately I’ve been thinking of bringing up the conversation with my folks and that was when I remembered this story I’m about to tell you now. laughs Don’t worry its nothing dark & daunting.

    Killers of communication

    When I was in my teens; I think between seventeen and nineteen, I wanted to go visit my friends. I missed my secondary (high) school friends and I hadn’t seen the few that lived in Portharcourt then since we all graduated so I made it my mission to reunite with them. I dressed up looking all beautiful & sweet and the next thing was to tell my mom. How would I tell her? Was the next question that popped into my brain. You may say “just tell her na.” Well, you know it doesn’t work that way in an African Nigerian home where staying inside the house is the norm.

    I was scared of her rejection but finally mustered the courage to go to her.

    “Mummy I’m going to my friends place at….”, don’t worry I’ll come back on time.”

    Before she could rain down her investigative questions and silly reasons why I shouldn’t go I went harder, “See mummy I’m already late. We need to meet and share admission details, don’t worry I’ll be back soon.” I smiled and ran off immediately without waiting for all the lectures that would accompany her approval. Hahaha

    After the assurance that I’d come back very early, traffic had other plans for me. I got home by 7pm (not too bad) and I didn’t know how to face my mum. It was a chilly evening but I was sweating like someone that chased a rat to kill. I finally opened the door after what felt like hours and was faced with my parents in the living room.

    “Mummy good evening. Daddy good evening.” I smiled to lighten the mood, “Kai! Mummy the traffic eh. Thank God I’m back oh.” They still did not say anything. I had to find a way to slip into my room. “Let me go and wash the plates.” I said finally and slowly walked into my room. I gave a sigh of relief. ‘Thank God its over.’ I muttered to myself and began undressing when I heard an earth shaking voice that told me it wasn’t over.

    “Chika! Chika! Chika! How many times did I call you? So its Rumuokoro you went to that made you come back by this time? Eh this girl.” I stopped undressing and stood in shock. Too afraid to reply her or come out of my room. That door felt like the only thing protecting me.

    “You better be careful. That boy that you are going to see will be the end of you.” At this point I burst out laughing with my hand covering my mouth.

    “If you like get pregnant. But know that my God knows that I have done my own…” She kept on talking and talking. I got angry. Why would she say i went to see some boy? Or Why would she say all that and think in that manner? Maybe its a mothers tongue. A general thing with mothers but I didn’t think there was any reason for her to react in that way. I told her who I was going to see and even told her the place. I communicated with her properly. Or so I thought. What had gone wrong in our communication? I asked.

    As a young woman, almost ten years later and I can see what went wrong with our communication and those things are the killers of communication. Having an effective communication is not just speaking out your thoughts & opinions. It is more about making sure that your words are clear & is properly understood by the other person. A clear and consise communication is the goal but with killers of communication present, it proves difficult to achieve effective communication.

    Which is why I’m going to be sharing with you these killers of communication with the hopes that it helps you make a difference from today.

    4 Killers Of Communication

    1. Fear

    Killers of communication like fear is what destroys effective communication from the mind, even before the conversation begins. The fear of how the other person would react to what you say, or how they would perceive things has stopped you from communicating properly. This fear can make you say something serious lightly, it can make you blabber thereby causing mockery & disregard.

    This fear can dampen your confidence. It can make you procrastinate; A conversation you were supposed to have with your boss concerning an urgent matter would be pushed till tomorrow because you’re scared that he/she would not see things from your point of view.

    1. Lack of details & specifics

    If I had told my mum that I was going to see a female friend and maybe even told her she was my classmate & that we went to the same school, then things would have ended differently. I hid a lot of basic details that would have made it more accepting and more understandable for her.

    Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.
    Fyodor Dostoevsky

    Lack of details and specifics are killers of communication that determine the outcome of any conversation you engage in. When communicating with someone, its important you be as open as possible because one missing detail that should foster that communication can dampen it negatively, even destroy your relationship with that person.

    1. Assumptions

    When Henry Winkler one of my best actors said; Assumptions are the termites of relationships. He wasn’t wrong.

    I hate this one oh. Human beings can assume. Ah! Some people can assume for Africa. Just wear something that shows your curves and endowments as a woman and the entire neighborhood would conclude you’re a runs girl. Sometimes I wonder if they enjoy it. In my scenario, my mum just assumed in her head that it was a man I was going to see and that created a picture that she stuck with.

    The bad thing about assumption is that; it is contrary to the truth, its not a fact and neither is it reality. Looks can be decieving. Don’t assume something that isn’t there. Listen to the other person’s story, the choice to believe it or not solely depends on you. Instead of assuming that they are lying, prove your theory with an evidence or else you’d end up ruining a persons self respect & integrity.

    1. Tone & Translations.

    Wrong usage of tone and words are killers of communication. How you may ask? I’ll indulge you.

    Apologizing to someone you hurt without any sign of remorse is an example of wrong translation. You may have said the right word “I’m sorry.” But how would the person forgive you if you don’t even feel any atom of regret for your actions. Sometimes its not what you say that is wrong but how you say it.

    Yet other times, you use the wrong languages; “Please get that for me bitch.” What nonsense? You are begging someone to get something for you and you’re calling the person bitch. Why don’t you get it yourself. For clear and effective communication, the right tone and words are super important.

    We are at a time where distance is a problem for families and couples to communicate, so communications are mostly done through mobile devices and social media platforms. Where your face can’t be seen, your choice of tone would go a long way. Use the right tone. Be warm, respectful and sure.

    Other killers of communication include jumping to conclusion which is similar to assumptions, beliefs, timing, anger etc.
    Henceforth, I hope these points would makes you make a difference in communicating.

    Did you learn anything? Or you’ve got more pints to share? Or a different experience that killed your communication with a friend or family? Please share in the comment.

    3 women’s story of pain, loss & friendship; read here