Chika Jonah Writes

Author: Chika Jonah

  • Living a Stress Free Life in 2021. Is it possible?

    Living a stress free life
    Andrew Neel – Pexel

    Living a stress free life in 2021 is on everyone’s wishlist right now.

    I mean, I crave it.

    I hate having to eat only crackers the whole day because I’m too stressed from work to cook. I hate having to see my mom on some days because she is too stressed to chit chat.

    So yeah, I haven’t seen anyone who likes stress, or enjoys been stressed.

    I’ve seen some of my friends who have been so bitchy and unapproachable because of stress. Some are disgusted with their work, not because it’s too hot to handle, but because their clients are embodied with stress; they carry stress like a fragrance to choke anyone who attends to them.

    Its 2021 and I wish I am leaping for joy, but no, its been a hard year and I’m pretty sure I’m speaking everybody’s mind here. You’d have to work tripple times harder to get results. The economy is a mess. The insecurity is alarming. Its harder for students to study with pressure, work, and challenges. Its hard for parents to provide for their families. Its hard for youths to live freely.

    So freaky yeah! Everyone is stressed. You’re stressed, I’m stressed, even though we hate to admit it because, we’ve normalized stress, but your heart knows the truth.

    You have accepted that stress is the order of the day. To put food on the table you have to be stressed. To pay your bills and fend for yourself you have to be stressed. To build your carreer you have to be stressed. So living a stress free life has become a myth for you. Living a stress free life has become nonsense in a country like ours.

    Which is why I’m telling you that, its not a myth. There’s nothing good about stress.

    Cottonbro – Pexel

    Is Living a Stress Free Life Possible?.

    Yes!

    It is possible.

    In the past I’d have said No, but now I know better. Living a stress free life is truly possible.

    Stress is simply applying force or pressure to both your internal and external body which causes strain and deformation.

    So it is possible to live your life without applying pressure, and force so much so that it could hurt you.

    It is possible to not pressure yourself. It is possible to not carry so much stress in your hand bag. It is also possible to not be stressed mentally and physically.

    Living a stress free life is achievable and I’ll show you how.

    You want that don’t you?

    Anna Sheets – Pexel

    How to Live a Stress Free Life in 2021

    Living a stress free life is not living a perfect life. Living a stress free life is simply finding ways to reduce, manage, eliminate stress, and incorporating it into your lifestyle. And you can do that by doing the following;

    Examining your life

    Have you ever been in a room where someone just emanates stressful energy? How did you feel? I bet you were so pissed that you couldn’t wait for the person to leave.

    Now what if the person with the stressful energy is you? Have you thought about that?

    That is where examininig your life comes in. You have to examine how people react when you are around, how they react when you leave the room, if they include you in important conversations or if they ask you for assistance. This would ensure to know your stress level, and how much that stress have affected others negatively. From there on, you’d know how to tackle it.

    Simplifying your life.

    In living a stress free life you must first remove stress by simplifying your life. You do that by taking away anything that may impose pressure and cause stress.

    For instance, if you know that there’s always traffic every morning on your way to work, and you know a shorter, free and accessible road you can use, but still go a head to follow the traffic jam road, then you’re increasing your stress level by making things difficult for you.

    Setting boundaries

    To live a stress free life you must set boundaries. You wouldn’t be the person that allow any jargon to trample on your mental health, or allow anybody to project their frustrations on you. Set work boundaries by not accepting jobs that would stress your blood away, or accept jobs overtime when you should be relaxing at home simply because your boss asked.

    Set relationship boundaries that seperates you from toxic people, or friends that dampen your self esteem. Set family boundaries that doesn’t allow your parents make decisions concerning your life, or allow traditional mentality hoard your freedom. To start living a stress free life, setting boundaries can eliminate stress entirely.

    Self care/Self love

    This body of yours is a work of art. It is not a machine that should be pushed over. You are not a pushover. Your body can shutdown from strain at anytime, and when it does, I don’t think you’d be able to forgive yourself for allowing it get to that point.

    Take proper care of your physical body. Eat properly, (sarmlife.com dinner food plan is super helpful) spoil yourself, pamper yourself, take breaks occasionally, and watch how those crankiness, and stress muscles, fade away.

    Alex Green – Pexel

    At the end of the day, know that, it is not stress that puts food on the table, it is work.
    Its called hard work, not stress work. You can work hard and not be stressed. I’m not saying you’d never be stressed. No. I’m simply asking that your priority should be, to consciously not increase your stress level or mount pressure on your self. Eliminating stress should be your ultimate focus as you go live your life.

    All the best! Please drop a comment.

    Here

    Here

  • The Angry Tears I Shed

    pexel – angry tears

    Dear You,

    I write this letter in angry tears…in fact, this lemon top of mine is been scarred with dry wasted tears even as I write this.

    Those piercing words you’ve probably heard before, I heard again last night, and its echoes replaying in my tiny little head brought these uncontrollable angry tears.

    I write this to hide it in my drawer but I’m hoping it gets to you. Wishing that my tears would embrace yours. Praying that these angry tears would stop flowing, but I can’t control it. So just for today, I’m letting it flow.

    The voice of rejection.
    The voice of selfishness
    That same voice that tells me to my face that I was taken for granted.
    I experienced.

    Have you experienced this?
    Did you feel the way I’m feeling now?
    The pain that transitions to anger.

    You may have also received that blow of disregard.
    You may have also received that punch of abandonment.
    You may have also faced that look of wickedness.
    You may have also been shocked by the striking reality that you were nothing to them.
    You may have also felt used and alone.
    It may have saddened you that they couldn’t stand up for you.
    You may have also been helpless as a result.
    You may have also cried till there was no more tears.
    You may have also felt weak like I am feeling now.

    How did you move on?

    Oh wait! I’m not done…

    How could I forget the plea!

    The plea for support.
    Pleading to dry my biting angry tears.
    Begging for a tiny bit of understanding.
    Crying for help.
    Holding on just to experience a little warmth.
    Just waiting for a show of reverence.

    Yet nothing. Absolute coldness was what I got. A blow on the face.

    Do you understand? Oh, hold on! Don’t tell me you understand.

    Just tell me you will never be in the giving end of that punch.

    Promise me you would let it be.
    Promise me you’ll fight and cry just as I am, and let go.
    Promise me that, as hard as moving on sounds, you’d try.
    Promise me you would not care about the pain you received and give back only love.
    Promise me that this painful and angry tears would not be avenged.

    As sad as all this has been, and after reading the scriptures to get me through bad days, I’m reminded yet again, to hold on to the few who has stuck it out with me. And my tears increase. Not angry tears, but warm tears that fill my heart with love.

    The ones who have held you down till this day, have you told them how invaluable they are to you?

    Your actions everyday should express your love for them. To not take them for granted nor abandon them the way some others did, but to hold on to them.

    Will You?

    Dear you, Finally, I’m remembering this angry tears as my will to live and love. Let yours be the same for you.

    Love
    Chika.

  • 7 Things to Improve your Mental Health

    Things to improve your mental health are as easy to come by as things needed to improve your physical health.

    Once you notice any sign of weakness in your body, or any symptom of sickness, the first thing you do is, make a run for medications, prescriptions, exercise, anything to heal your body and make you healthy, but when it comes to your mental health, it becomes extremely difficult to take care of it.

    There are a lot of physically fit people with mental health issues on the streets.

    Why?

    Because, the same attention you’ve given to your body has not been given to your mind. Also, there are those who don’t even take care of both their body and mind as should.

    The fact remains that taking care of your mental health is not difficult. The things to improve your mental health are very easy to come by. All it takes is your determination and consistency, which becomes hard part.

    I’m not here to give a pep talk to a grown adult on the importance of mental health and why you should be consistently prioritizing it, because if you as an adult, (18+) do not know the importance of your mental health, then you are sleeping. (Tell that to some Nigerian Parents)

    It would baffle you to know that, some Nigerians still perceive a toll in mental health as madness. Shameful!

    If you’re reading this and you’re one of those Nigerians, then your thinking is far from the truth. Such perception is vague and misleading.

    Signs that Your Mental Health has Taken a Toll

    1. Anxiety

    2. Overthinking

    3. Toxicity

    4. Insomnia

    5. Lack of Gratitude

    6. No self worth and self love

    7. Depression

    8. Jumpiness and Anxiousness

    9. Bad eating habit

    10. Distancing yourself from others.

    Its easy to experience all of these things because life presents situations that make you anxious, pain that make you depressed, toxic people that try to rub their toxicity on you and fear that makes you jumpy. (Sarmlife shared something helpful on Anxiety you should see) The key is to listen to your body, and mind to know when these things get out of hand. And when they do, that’s when you know its time do things to improve your mental health.

    This is where the Mental health help guide come in. It’s important that you are aware of these 7 things to improve your mental health and apply it in your everyday life.

    7 Things to Improve Your Mental Health.

    Overcome Triggers

    Triggers are events, experiences or other stimulus that initiates a traumatic memory or action in a person. If you were abandoned as a child, any form of rejection can trigger that traumatic experience again. There by giving you reasons to respond to it. Avoiding triggers can do so little, but overcoming triggers lies the real gain. You can overcome triggers by;

    • Reminding yourself that its all in your head.
    • Reminding yourself that you can control it.
    • Not responding to its effect on you by not letting it overwhelm you.
    • Understanding that such traumatic event cannot affect your present. Affirming that Good things will come.

    Love Yourself

    We are all imperfect beings with flaws, weaknesses, and deficiencies, and you are one of those people. Perfect in imperfection. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Respect yourself enough to not look down on yourself. Spoil yourself. Tell yourself sweet things. A friend posted on his status yesterday saying, “I’m so happy because I first fell in love with myself.”

    Reading that alone brought tears to my eyes,  because there’s an undisputed amount of happiness that come with loving yourself and it is one of those things to improve your mental heath that I love so much. Self love is gold.

    Take care of your body

    Taking care of your physical body as one of the things to improve your mental health works like magic. Things like:

    •Exercising
    •Eating well
    •Avoiding alcohol and drugs
    •Drinking plenty of water
    •Sleeping and resting well
    •Engaging in hobbies
    •Having fun exercises

    Meditate

    Meditating connects your mind with your surrounding. It opens your mind to positive possibilities. It stretches your mind to see more than what has or is happenening around you. It calms your nerves and refreshes your soul. It organizes your thoughts. It takes away the feeling of fatigue and allows your mind to see more, to ponder upon situations in a collected way and to build positive growth reflections.

    Journal

    I call Journaling every ones best friend. Sometimes I hear people say “but how can I just be writing anything on a book.” That is the purpose journaling. To show you that there is something in your nothing. Journaling helps you make sense of the senseless. Putting them down on a journal, and writing all your feelings and thoughts helps you clear your head. Let me also add what I shared In my last post on Journaling, “Write on your journal regularly, your thoughts, actions, plans, ideas or just how you spend everyday. Go back and read it, you’d be amazed at the things that would begin to unravel.”

    Be around good people

    Good family and friends are one of the things to improve your mental health. Good people who share good values like you are such a rare blessing. If you know them, hold on to them. Surround yourself with them. They would be a source of encouragment, love, support, and care on those days when your mental health detoriates. Don’t push them away or deny them the right to love and comfort you.

    Seek Help

    This can be a difficult part for some people. Although, there are few others who would shamelessly ask for help. Please be among those few others. I get that you may not want to burden someone else with your issues, but dear, there are people who can handle it. A counselor, (Guardian angel offers free counselling ) a therapist, a specialist in the area, a mentor or someone you respect. Just seek help.

    I hope that you’d take these 7 things to improve your mental health guide seriously anytime you begin to feel down mentally. So, bookmark this post and share with your friends and loves ones.

    Happy Mental Health Week.